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My Nanny Never Gave Me Massages, and Now I'm Scarred for Life

September 19, 2018

Photo provided by Wix

 

I'm still processing a Business Insider article that I came across this morning. The title is "Forget Teaching 2nd Languages—Wealthy New Yorkers Now Want Their Kids' Nannies to Do Their Hair, Drive Zambonis, and Give Them Massages." Let your imagination run wild from there.

 

First off, I did not grow up with a nanny, though my siblings did refer to my computer gaming system as Nanny-tendo. One could argue that my siblings, who often acted in the place of my parents, were the real nannies in my life. In any case, I can't even begin to relate to children whose nannies teach them yoga.

 

Second, I had to search online to find out what a Zamboni is. Having now learned, I assume that these children are not taking them on joy rides around town, but what do I know about the rich. I would be more shocked that they even had their own ice-skating rinks, but I recently read another article in The Wall Street Journal that talks about parents who build their kids private soccer fields, basketball courts, and so on. I made it by pretty well on Hide and Seek and swinging kitchen knives at the guavas that grew in our front yard in California. My kids'll have to do without their own personal NFL-standard football stadium (fans included!).

 

My instincts tell me that it's possible to give your children too much attention, particular if you're not actually the person giving your children the attention. I could be wrong, and my unwillingness to provide my children with nannies who give them massages may cause irreparable harm. I'll go consult with the eight nannies we've hired for our four kids and get back to you. We might have to heap some more work on them.

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